Welcome TO MYPodcast!
Welcome TO MY Podcast
Being a woman is one of the greatest experiences in our lives, and also comes with plenty of emotional and relational and sociological challenges.
Join Melody, a Women's Coach, Relationship & Enneagram Coach, & Professional Life Coach, Executive Director of the non-profit Togetherness Project, Founder of Number: a Connections & Compatibility App & Mother of Four, as she connects with friends around the world facilitating real, relevant and honest conversations, bringing hope, laughter and reality into our lives.
Podcast Episodes
Twice a month on Tuesdays, you will have the opportunity to connect with Melody & from around the world on all kinds of real, relational and relevant topics.
Please listen, share and leave a rating and review, so that more people around the world will have access to the podcast. Thanks so much!
Episode 1
Sarah McDugal
Abuse Recovery Coach
In the inaugural episode of Melody & Friends, Melody sits down with author and abuse recovery coach, Sarah McDugal, to discuss helping women who have been victims of toxic, dangerous relationships. She also explains how we can begin to discover the systems of abuse that are often used in abusive relationships so that everyone can identify when abusers are beginning to create these toxic environments.
Sarah breaks down ways women can identify these systems so they can feel more empowered to discern and navigate these situations so they can begin to live their lives in freedom and safety. Who is Sarah McDugal? Sarah McDugal graduated from Andrews University in 2006 with her masters degree in accounting. She is now a brand strategist, author, and leadership speaker.
She designs Hollywood-quality brand campaigns for companies who value their impact on people as much as their bottom line. Sarah is the author of ONE FACE: Shed the Mask, Own Your Values, and Lead Wisely. She writes and speaks on the leadership topics of decision-making, core values, and redemption. A lover of international vegetarian cuisine, avid reader and globetrotter, Sarah has visited or worked in more than 40 countries. She's also a homeschooling single mom who never has enough time to do #allthethings, and sometimes leaves dirty dishes in the sink longer than she probably should.
Things We Talk About In This Episode: How Sarah McDugal began working with abused women How Abusive Relationships Start and What to Look For as Toxic Relationships take shape, What the Abusive System looks like and How Women can safely and effectively begin moving out of it. Where women can find community and support after suffering a toxic relationship. What is Godly, Masculine love supposed to look like? Our listeners can learn more about Sarah McDugal and access her resources at her website. https://www.wildernesstowild.com/
Episode 2
Chuck DeGroat
Professor of Pastoral Care and Christian Spirituality
On this episode of Melody and Friends, Melody sits down with author and professor, Chuck DeGroat, to discuss narcissism in the church. Chuck discusses the different forms narcissism often manifests itself in leaders of the church, what characteristics a narcissist will often display, and ways that they often try to redirect or lead conversations about their behavior. Chuck then explains why narcissism seems to be such a predominant issue in the church and what we as a congregation can begin to do in addressing it.
Who is Chuck DeGroat?
Chuck DeGroat is Professor of Pastoral Care and Christian Spirituality at Western Theological Seminary, MI, and Senior Fellow at Newbigin House of Studies, San Francisco. He is an author, speaker, consultant, and therapist. Chuck is committed to spiritual and emotional formation for the sake of mission. His experience is represented in a fluid combination of pastoral ministry and seminary training for 20 years. He has served several church plants as a teaching pastor and has started two church-based clinical counseling centers. Most recently, he was a teaching pastor at City Church San Francisco, where he co-founded Newbigin House of Studies, an urban and missional training center with offerings through Western Theological Seminary.
Things We Talk About In This Episode:
What is narcissism? Why is narcissism such a predominant issue in the church? How to approach and deal with someone exhibiting narcissistic behavior How Chuck DeGroat works to help both narcissists and those affected by narcissistic behavior Our listeners can learn more about Chuck DeGroat, access his online courses and sign up for soul care intensives by visiting his website chuckdegroat.net.
Our listeners can also pick up a copy of his book, When Narcissism Comes to Church: Healing Your Community
From Emotional and Spiritual Abuse, at the Amazon link here:
https://www.amazon.com/When-Narcissism-Comes-Church-Community-ebook/dp/B07ZG79HHF
Episode 3
Debbie Mirza
Author and Speaker
On this episode of Melody and Friends, Melody speaks with author and speaker Debbie Mirza about covert passive aggressive narcissists and why they can be so difficult to detect in a relationship. Debbie shares her story of being married to a covert narcissist for almost 22 years and talks about her own healing as she went through a time of isolation. She and Melody discuss the signs to look for in someone who may be a covert narcissist, their different methods of manipulating their victims and what you can do to escape that relationship and begin your journey of healing and restoration. Our listeners can get in contact with Debbie and purchase her books including The Covert Passive Aggressive Narcissist on her website, debbiemirza.com
Who is Debbie Mirza?
Debbie is a best-selling author who is passionate about helping people heal after narcissistic abuse. She has personally experienced decades of covert narcissistic abuse and has a wealth of understanding on this topic stemming from her own life experience, education, and research. Debbie has been interviewed on several podcasts and online conferences. She has deep empathy for those who have dealt with this damaging form of narcissism.
She has created online courses to help with the healing process, one specifically on parenting when your ex is a covert narcissist, and one with helpful tips for starting your own in person support group. During her own healing, she went through a time of much isolation where she spent a lot of time in nature and at home taking care of her wounded heart. It was during this time that she wrote and recorded songs that would bring her and others calm, love, and tenderness.
Things We Talked about in This Episode
Debbie’s experience with finding out her husband was a covert passive aggressive narcissist. What it’s like living with someone who has CPAN and how to identify some of the traits (well liked, well respected, but they are very chameleon-like). The differences between an overt and a covert narcissist. When you’re with a covert narcissist there’s always a question of “who are you really?” How covert narcissists use silent rage rather than overt yelling and anger. The three stages a victim goes through in a relationship with a covert narcissist. Cover Narcissists ability to sabotage important days and them offering to “settle”. Traits that are common in individuals that are missing from covert narcissists What gaslighting actually is in a relationship and what that looks like with covert narcissists How to escape those relationships and begin healing after that abuse.
Episode 4
Marnie Ferree
Founder and Director of Bethesda Workshops
On this episode of Melody and Friends, Melody sits down with licensed marriage and family therapist Marnie C. Ferree. Marnie is also the founder and director of Bethesda Workshops, a faith-based clinical intensive workshop program for sex addicts, their partners, and couples affected by sexual addiction. Marnie shares her story of growing up with a father who was a pastor that was a sex addict, using both same sex pornography and men to feed his addiction, and ultimately being sexually abused and groomed by one of her father’s sexual partners. She then talks to Melody about the importance of ministering and helping the partners of those addicts and how they can begin their journey to recovering from these traumatic relationships. Our listeners can check out all of the resources Marnie and her team offers over at bethesdaworkshops.org.
Who is Marnie Ferree?
Marnie C. Ferree is the founder of Bethesda Workshops and has a national reputation as a leader in the field of sexual addiction. She has an active role in every workshop.
In 1997, Marnie established a workshop program for female sex addicts that was the first of its kind, and today draws participants from across the United States and Canada. That program expanded in 2001 to include workshops for male sex addicts, partners, and couples, and it was renamed Bethesda Workshops. She is a licensed marriage and family therapist and a certified sex addiction therapist (CSAT).
Things We Discuss in this Episode
The different types of sexual addicts that can show up in relationships. Not all sex addicts look or act the same and Marnie discusses the different types she works with at Bethsda Workshops How Marnie recovered from her upbringing of having a sex addict father, being abused by one of her father’s partners, and later her husband who was also addicted to sexually deviant behavior. How partners can start their journey of recovery after experiencing the pain of a relationship with an addict and how they can become their best selves after moving on.
How to recognize as a partner that there is nothing more you can do in a relationship and the healthiest option is for you to leave that partnership. Marnie explains that it takes two healthy people to have a relationship and one person cannot keep that relationship afloat themself. The first step as a partner when you recognize your significant other has begun exhibiting addictive behavior is to remember that it is NOT your fault. You will be okay and you can choose health, no matter your partner’s choice. Partners need help even more than the addict. How Bethesda Workshops can help both partners and addicts through the struggles of addiction, the heartbreak of discovery, and how to create a safe, impactful recovery journey.
Episode 5
Catherine Etherington
Certified Professional Life Coach, Contributor for the Huffington Post
On this week’s episode of Melody and Friends, Melody is joined by Certified Professional Life Coach and Contributor for The Huffington Post, Catherine Etherington to discuss healing from betrayal while also battling and treating addiction. Catherine shares her story of being a heroin addict for over 10 years and how she was able to walk through the trauma of betrayal after discovering pornography on her husband’s phone a few years into their marriage. After doing a lot of research, and finding support and resources for him and his addiction to pornography,
Catherine realized that she had hit a brick wall in finding support for herself, her pain and her own addictions. This caused Catherine to become a life and recovery coach. Catherine now works with The Naked Truth Project as Head of Recovery with their Free Lives Ministry. Our listeners can learn more about her work and NTP as a charity by visiting www.nakedtruthrecovery.com
Catherine and Melody then discuss how finding community, support and looking for someone to help process the pain are the best first steps for women to take after facing betrayal. Self care is an extremely important part of the healing process due to the amount of emotional energy women are putting out. Catherine walks us through the process she walks women through to find true healing and comfort after betrayal.
Who is Catherine Etherington?
Catherine Etherington is the creator of both the Whole Hearted Partner Programme and Whole Life Recovery Programme for The Naked Truth Project and oversees all the work at Naked Truth Recovery. She has previously worked as a group facilitator, trainer and coach, specializing in behavioral and cultural change through emotional intelligence.
Catherine is a recovered substance addict with over a decade of recovery as well as a betrayed wife healing from trauma. Catherine has years of experience working with addiction recovery in both peer and professional roles and is equipped to work with people seeking recovery from problematic behaviors, their partners, as well as with the couple together.
Things We Discuss in this Episode
How Catherine dealt not only with the discovery of her husband’s betrayal and pornography addiction, but also how she began to find help for her own addiction to heroin as a young mother of 2.
Where the best starting point is for women and couples looking to heal after experiencing betrayal and trauma.
Why self care is one of the most important things for women as they begin their healing from betrayal and addiction.
How to get men in the relationship to understand that their spouse getting “triggered” isn’t just a feeling, but instead is a whole body reaction to feeling unsafe.
What slips and relapses can look like in a relationship and what women can do when their spouse slips back into that old behavior or even experiences a relapse into that addiction.
How to navigate the difficulty of betrayal and addiction with your children, whether they are adolescents or adults. What are the steps that you can take to still be a supportive parent to your children while in the midst of all the chaos of walking through betrayal.
Episode 6
Dr. Barbara Steffens
President of the Assoc. for Partners of Sex Addicts Trauma Specialists
On this week’s episode of Melody and Friends, Melody speaks with Dr. Barbara Steffens about breaking the stigma and shame that partners often experience when going through betrayal trauma with their spouse’s sexual addiction. Both addicts and their partners may suffer in isolation, ashamed and afraid, not knowing where to turn for help. Dr. Steffens talks about what trauma truly looks like in a relationship, what steps women can take, and how communities provide understanding for sexual addicts and their partners.
Barbara Steffens' groundbreaking research was the first to show that partners are not co-addicts but post-traumatic stress victims. Our listeners can learn more about Dr. Steffens’ book, coaching and more by visiting www.drbarbarasteffens.com. Another resource she highly recommends is www.apsats.org.
Who is Dr. Barbara Steffens?
Barbara Steffens, PhD, LPCC, CCPS, CPC specializes in helping women recover from sexual betrayal and is a sought-after speaker and presenter on special issues related to partners of sexual addicts. She was the founding President of the Association for Partners of Sex Addicts Trauma Specialists, an organization that provides training and certification of Clinical Partner Specialists and Partner Trauma Coaches.
She has counseled and coached betrayed spouses/partners for over twenty years and her research on trauma after betrayal has changed the field. Barbara also consults with other professionals and provides training for those who want to help partners heal.
Things We Talk About in this Episode
The dangers of the codependency model and calling women co-addicts when they discover their husband has an addiction to sex or pornography. What trauma looks like for spouses that are in a relationship with someone who is a sex addict How to determine if an addict is in a good place after recovering from the original trauma of betrayal and why it can often take a while to figure that out. What to do if your spouse doesn’t begin to exhibit those signs of reform or doesn’t respect your requests for boundaries and safety. How Dr. Steffens wrote Your Sexually Addicted Spouse: How Partners Can Cope and Heal and how she began rewriting the way people recognize betrayal trauma. Where do women go next after experiencing betrayal trauma and how can counselors be better informed to treat sex addicts and the trauma their spouses experience.
Episode 7
Melody Lovvorn
From the Pour Coffee Shop in Panama City Beach, Florida
On this week’s episode of Melody and Friends, Melody takes a trip to a coffee shop in Panama City Beach to discuss how we can find a group of safe friends to walk with us through life and grow with us. She talks about the three circles of friends we should strive to have as we walk through life and who exactly fits into each of these circles.
Melody then talks about the differences between acquaintances, friends and the sacred, safe people we have in our lives as well as what we should share with each of those groups. This is an excellent episode for those wondering who they should trust with your deepest conversations, how to figure out who those people are, and how to expand your outer circles of friends with deep, meaningful relationships.
Things we talk about in this episode:
Why it’s so important to have friends that will grow along side us rather than just tell us what we want to hear
How to distinguish between a friend and a close friend.
Why it’s okay to consider some people as just acquaintances and how we don’t always have to be super close to every friend that walks into our lives.
The difference between friends that are life giving and friends that are life receiving and why both are important.
Episode 8
Dr. Sheri Keffer
Healing the Wounds of Sexual Betrayal with Dr. Sheri Keffer
On this week's episode of Melody and Friends, Melody chats with Dr. Sheri Keffer about the impact of betrayal trauma and the path forward to recovery. She explains how the trauma of betrayal affects our minds, bodies, spirits, and sexuality. Dr. Keffer also provides women new tools they can utilize when dealing with emotional triggers and how they can confront their spouse or partner when discovering they have an addiction to sex. Finally, she shows women how they can begin practicing self-care, develop healthy boundaries, protect themselves from abuse or manipulation, and discover freedom from the burden of shame and guilt.
Our listeners can learn more about Dr. Sheri Keffer by going to her website: https://drsherikeffer.com/.
Who is Dr. Sheri Keffer?
Dr. Sheri Keffer received her PhD in Marriage and Family Therapy and her Master of Arts Theology, both from Fuller Theological Seminary. She currently specializes in individual, couples and family therapy at her private practice in Newport Beach, California.
Things We Discuss in this Episode
What denial looks like in a relationship with someone who is addicted to sex and how to break that denial to address the problem.
How sexual betrayal has the same stress impact on spouses as soldiers with PTSD.
How to confront your spouse in their addiction, set healthy boundaries while they get help and how to know when to walk away.
What methods women can use to help remove the shame and guilt they experience when walking through betrayal.
Why finding a community of women who have similar experiences is vital to recovering and restoring yourself after betrayal.
Episode 9
Nate Larkin
Finding Authentic Recovery and Brotherhood
On this week’s episode of Melody and Friends, Melody sits down with author and speaker Nate Larkin to discuss his decades long battle with pornography and sex addiction. Nate shares his story of why he spent hundreds of thousands of dollars on emotionless sex, what led him to recovery and how his marriage went from desolation to rebirth after his wife discovered his addicition. He shares practical ways to begin having conversations that build trust. He also discusses how pornography and sex addiction stifle our ability to be intimate and why intimacy is vital. Nate created the Samson Society, a community dedicated to creating brotherhood between recovering addicts, and he shares how today there are over 10,000 men connected experiencing real intimacy and finding freedom.
Our listeners can learn more about Nate Larkin, his book and The Samson Society by visiting the links below: https://samsonsociety.com/ , and https://www.amazon.com/Samson-Pirate-...
Who is Nate Larkin?
Nate Larkin knows the pressure to live up to a public persona. He knows what it's like to have a secret that can destroy a career. He knows what it's like to quit. And He knows what it's like to find healing, deep friendships, and hope. Nate has a story that unfortunately too many people can relate with, addiction to pornography and sex.
So in 2004, several of these friends formed a mutual aid society for Christian men called the Samson Society. Within the safety of the Samson Society, honest friendships have taken root and men are finding new power in their faith. Nate, who drafted the Society’s charter and designed its first meeting format, has written a book about his experiences entitled Samson and the Pirate Monks: Calling Men to Authentic Brotherhood, which was published by Thomas Nelson in February 2007. (He is also the author, with Darrell Waltrip, of Sundays Will Never Be the Same).
As of 2012, more than 250 local Samson Society groups are functioning in the United States, and others have started in other countries. A social networking website has been established to connect men who do not have access to a local meeting. Nate loves talking to men about their need for community and how they can overcome struggles together.
Things We Talk About in this Episode
Why men often don’t want to look to external sources to find help for sex addiction and porn addiction.
Why intimacy in a relationship is about so much more than sex and why it can be hard for men to realize that How contempt for a man’s own action in addiction can create contempt in the relationship and how to break them out of that mindset.
Why having a community of sex addicts is important to recovery and how to overcome the voice in a man’s head saying they can recover on their own.
Episode 10
Gary Thomas
On this week’s episode of Melody and Friends, Melody travels to Texas to speak with best selling author and international speaker Gary Thomas to discuss something that can be very difficult for spouses, when to walk away. Gary talks about how as Christians, we often feel the guilt and responsibility of meeting the needs of unhealthy people in our lives. Gary says that instead of attempting the impossible task of mollifying toxic people, it's time we dedicate our energy to a more worthwhile effort: completing the work God has given us by investing in reliable people. He shares his experience on how to identify truly toxic people, how to deal with them in difficult situations, and the most important aspect for many, when and how to walk away from a toxic relationship.
Our listeners can learn more about Gary Thomas, his books and more by visiting the links below: https://garythomas.com/ , and can check out When to Walk Away: Finding Freedom from Toxic People by clicking the link here: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0310346762/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=0310346762&linkCode=as2&tag=garythomas0e-20&linkId=4e994c710a924b11a90d60ab148d43e2
Who is Gary Thomas?
Gary Thomas is a bestselling author and international speaker whose ministry brings people closer to Christ and closer to others. He unites the study of Scripture, church history, and the Christian classics to foster spiritual growth and deeper relationships within the Christian community.
Gary is the author of 20 books that together have sold over two million copies, have been translated into more than a dozen languages, and won numerous awards . His writings have established him as a thought-leader in the areas of marriage, parenting, and spiritual formation.
Gary holds a B.A. in English Literature from Western Washington University, an MA degree in systematic theology from Regent College (Vancouver, BC), and an honorary Doctor of Divinity degree from Western Seminary (Portland, OR). He has served on the teaching team at Second Baptist Church, Houston and as an adjunct faculty member at Western Seminary in Portland, Oregon and Houston Theological Seminary in Houston, Texas.
Things We Talk About in this Episode
Episode 11
Sherri Tate
Healing the Wounds of Abusive Betrayal with Sherri Tate
In this episode of Melody and Friends, Melody sits down with speaker Sherri Tate to discuss the dynamics of abuse and the effect it has on women's lives. Sherri shares her story of living with abuse for years and trying to "pull herself up by her bootstraps" to push through the pain.
However, after finding herself at the end of her rope, she realized how to put a name to the abuse and trauma she was experiencing, and began to find ways to seperate herself from the abuse and begin healing.
Sherri has received her certification in biblical counseling, with a concentration on helping women that have experienced sexual abuse, domestic violence and controlling/dominating relationships. She also founded Daughter By Design a community-based outreach that ministers to victims of abuse through one-on-one counseling and specific biblical-based small group formats. Our listeners can learn more about Daughter by Design at www.daughterbydesign.org
Episode 12
Sherri Tate
How to Deal with Love Bombing in a Relationship with Sherri Tate
In this episode of Melody and Friends, Sherri Tate returns with Melody for part 2 of her discussion on dealing with overtly abusive relationships and talks about one of the most manipulative tactics abusers use, love bombing. Sherri explains what love bombing is, why it is such a potent tool for abusers and what victims can do to recognize and escape from potential love bombing.
Sherri also discusses her past with an overtly abusive partner, how things started off as a budding relationship, but over time red flags began to appear. She shows examples of love bombing with her partner and why they seemed both incredibly endearing yet also unsettling and abusive. She then explains how she was finally able to free herself from that relationship and form a ministry that aids to help women around the country find support, love and peace as the Daughters of God they are called to be.
Sherri has received her certification in biblical counseling, with a concentration on helping women that have experienced sexual abuse, domestic violence and controlling/dominating relationships. She also founded Daughter By Design a community-based outreach that ministers to victims of abuse through one-on-one counseling and specific biblical-based small group formats. Our listeners can learn more about Daughter by Design at www.daughterbydesign.org
Episode 13
Kia Stephens
How to Overcome Father Wounds
On this week's episode of Melody and Friends, Melody sits down with Author Kia Stephens to discuss what father wounds are, how to identify them and how women can overcome abuse or neglect from their fathers. Kia breaks down what lead her to write her book, Overcoming Father Wounds: Exchanging Your Pain for God’s Perfect Love, and offers practical tools to help women overcome their insecurity, low self-esteem, perfectionism, and trouble connecting with God as your loving heavenly Father.
Who is Kia Stephens?
Kia Stephens is a wife and mom of two who is passionate about helping women know God as Father. For this reason, she created The Father Swap Blog to help women exchange their father wounds for the love of God the Father. Kia is also the founder of Entrusted Women, which she created to equip Christian women communicators of color. In addition to these ministries, Kia faithfully serves in Bible Study Fellowship and her local church in Atlanta, Georgia. When Kia is not writing or serving women, she enjoys spending quality time with her family and friends. Kia will be releasing her first book, Overcoming Father Wounds, on March 7, 2023.
Our listeners can learn more about Kia Stephens by visiting her website: www.kiastephens.com
Things we discuss in this episode:
Episode 14
Dr. Jerome Wagner
Seeing the World through the Nine Lenses of the Enneagram
On this week's episode of Melody and Friends, Melody sits down with Dr. Jerome Wagner to discuss the nine personality types outlined in the Enneagram and how they can help us understand our views and responses to the world around us. Dr. Wagner explains how the Enneagram differs from personality tests like Myers-Briggs and how the Enneagram not only shows us which personality type we fall into, but why we like to fall into that personality.
He also explains how each type on the Enneagram creates our lense of seeing the world, and that each of these lenses informs us about what's important and what might threaten our values. Finally he discusses the importance of how we should look at all nine types on the enneagram and use them as a basis to prevent ourselves from distorting our vision of the world, and coming into the best versions of ourselves as Christ created us to be.
Our listeners can learn more about Dr. Jerome Wagner and the courses he offers by visiting enneagramspectrum.com and www.wepss.com
Our listeners can also purchase his books including Nine Lenses of the World by clicking the amazon link here
Who is Dr. Jerome Wagner?
Dr. Jerome Wagner, Ph.D. is a clinical psychologist, psychotherapist, supervisor, consultant in private practice, and emeritus faculty member in the Department of Psychology and Institute of Pastoral Studies at Loyola University, Chicago.
Among the earliest students of the Enneagram in the United States, Dr. Wagner’s dissertation was one of the first written descriptions of the Enneagram and pioneered formal research studies on the Enneagram. Part of his study involved constructing an Enneagram inventory.
Things We Talk About In This Episode:
What is the Enneagram? What makes the Enneagram different from other personality tests? What are the 9 types of the Enneagram? Why is it important to know your typing on the Enneagram and how can it help me in my day to day life? Why is knowing the positives and negatives of each type important? Why should we look at all 9 types of the Enneagram if we only have one that drives us individually? Thank you so much for listening to this episode of Melody and Friends! If you haven't already please take the time to leave us a rating and review on our iTunes page as it helps us get more great episodes like this to you!
Episode 15
Melody Lovvorn
Glimmers of Heaven (Part 1)
On this week’s episode of Melody and Friends, Melody talks about the events leading up to her youngest daughter, Keller Lovvorn, getting married and what she describes as “Glimmers of Heaven”. Melody talks about how she, Keller and her oldest daughter Ryland were able to spend one last day together before the wedding, and how moments like that are able to provide us with these glimmers of heaven.
Melody explains that relationships and interactions with one another are crucial for us to understand the love of our Father in Heaven, and how we can find these glimmers of heaven throughout our daily lives. She also offers advice for parents and young adults alike as they move into life changing events like marriage and how we can embrace and enjoy them as glimmers into heaven.
Things We Talk About in this Episode:
What are glimmers of heaven? Why is it important for us to look for glimmers of heaven in our lives? How can these moments help us feel a deeper connection to our Heavenly Father? Thank you so much for listening to this episode of Melody and Friends! If you haven't already please take the time to leave us a rating and review on our iTunes page as it helps us get more great episodes like this to you!
Episode 16
Melody Lovvorn
Glimmers of Heaven (Part 2)
On this week’s episode of Melody and Friends, Melody continues her series on Glimmers of Heaven by discussing the rehearsal dinner for her youngest daughter, Keller. Melody explains the beauty of community at the rehearsal dinner, how incredible it feels to see your children find Godly friends, and that glimmers of heaven don't always mean perfection.
Sometimes, the Glimmers of Heaven are like Jesus in the garden of Gethsemane. It is joy and it is mourning, it is happiness and it is tension. Melody talks about how joyous it is seeing the community your children foster with the values of God you've instilled into them as a mother. For her it was encouraging to see that Hudson, Keller’s husband, was truly a Godly man before he started dating Keller, and was not changing to be that because he was dating her. Finally, Melody explains how the values of these communal events with friends and family can help point us back to our Father in Heaven and just how much He truly loves us.
Things We Talk About in this Episode:
Why is community so important for ourselves and our children to experience Glimmers of Heaven? How can these events remind us of the love God has for us? How can Glimmers of Heaven be something that is both joy and mourning? Thank you so much for listening to this episode of Melody and Friends! If you haven't already, please take the time to leave us a rating and review on our iTunes page as it helps us get more great episodes like this to you!
Episode 17
Melody Lovvorn
Glimmers of Heaven (Part 3)
On this week’s episode of Melody and Friends, Melody concludes her series on Glimmers of Heaven by discussing the day of the wedding for her youngest daughter, Keller. Melody explains how you can still find glimmers of heaven even when things don't go according to plan.
Melody talks about how, during Keller's wedding, the outdoor venue was jeopardized by heavy rain. However, instead of being discouraged, Keller made the decision to keep the wedding outside. Melody describes the beauty and grace of holding a wedding in the pouring rain and how symbolic it was of God's grace and love. Through events like this, where things seem like they are going wrong, Melody explains that these are actually the moments where the Glimmers of Heaven are their brightest.
Things We Talk About in this Episode:
How can we experience Glimmers of Heaven when events in our lives don't go according to plan? Why can moments that seem negative actually be used to reflect God's love for us? How can we train ourselves to see Glimmers of Heaven in the dark parts of our lives? Thank you so much for listening to this episode of Melody and Friends! If you haven't already, please take the time to leave us a rating and review on our iTunes page as it helps us get more great episodes like this for you!
Episode 18
Paul Young
The Redemption of The Shack with Author Paul Young
On this episode of Melody and Friends, Melody sits down with Best Selling author Paul Young to talk about his story of growing up in West Papua, New Guinea, his divorce and reconciliation with his wife, and how he was able to experience rebirth after decades of abuse and trauma.
Paul shares his story of abuse that he suffered while living in West Papua, New Guinea, experiencing sexual abuse at the age of 5. Between this and having an abusive father, Paul discusses how God is able to show us love and grace in these moments where all hope seems lost. He also explains that God NEVER violates human agency to accomplish His purpose and shows what that looks like from his perspective as an abuse victim.
Paul then explains his journey of “starting over”, meeting his wife and then having an affair, and finally how he began breaking down the walls he had built up over decades of his life, and how he backed away from the abyss of taking his own life. In the end he says that it wasn’t justified, but it was worth it.
Who is Paul Young?
William Paul Young was born in Canada and raised among a Stone Age tribe by his missionary parents in the highlands of former New Guinea. He suffered great loss as a child and young adult and now enjoys the “wastefulness of grace” with his family in the Pacific Northwest. He is the author of Lies We Believe About God and the New York Times bestsellers The Shack, Cross Roads, and Eve.
Things We Talk About In This Episode:
What is the power of a word like ambivalence and why is that so important for us to understand? How do you begin breaking down walls built up from abuse? How is lying often used more as a survival tool than one meant to deceive? Where can we turn when it feels like the world is collapsing on us and we feel separated from God? Thank you so much for listening to this episode of Melody and Friends! If you haven't already please take the time to leave us a rating and review on our iTunes page as it helps us get more great episodes like this to you!
Episode 19
Diane Strack
Walking By Faith in Difficult Days with Diane Strack
On this episode of Melody and Friends, Melody sits down with Author and Founder of She Loves Out Loud, Diane Strack, to talk about walking by faith in the face of difficult days. Diane shares her story about her diagnosis of breast cancer and what it was like facing each day with cancer. She then shares advice for those suffering with acute and chronic illnesses about how to “Always Expect Amazing” regardless of your circumstances.
Diane explains in the moments of hardship with her cancer, she discovered that God is always there with us. He is always there listening, comforting and taking us into what is next for our lives. She then talks about the creation of her ministry, She Loves Out Loud, which focuses on “gathering the women of the world” so that they may pray together. Diane shows how in her battle and in so many others, that having that group of women alongside her to say, “We are with you.” and sharing in the tragedy and triumph as they prayed together was transformational.
Who is Diane Strack?
Diane Strack has created, facilitated, and spoken at women’s and youth ministries across the nation for more than three decades. As the founder of She Loves Out Loud, she urges women to engage their circles of influence to “gather the women to pray” and to share the Good News of God’s love and healing. Diane’s message is “Always Expect Amazing” regardless of your circumstances. She is the author of several books, including New Start for Single Moms, and the Co-founder of Student Leadership University. Diane currently serves as an Executive Member of the Board of Directors of One More Child Foundation, a ministry that touches 160,000 children annually through adoption, foster care, trafficking restoration, single mom homes, and international ministry. She and her husband Jay live in Central Florida and love spending time with their daughters Missy and Chris, son-in-law Brent, and six grandchildren.
Things We Talk About In This Episode:
How do we fight discouragement in the face of extremely difficult moments in our lives? How do we avoid falling into isolation after devastating news or events and why is having a gospel community especially important for women? Why is serving others a vital component to the process of healing ourselves? Why should we begin to recognize things like depression and despair as spiritual warfare and what can we do to combat that? To learn more about She Loves Out Loud’s event on November 5th and to register, please visit the link here: https://shelovesoutloud.org/event-info/
Check out the full She Loves Out Loud website here: https://shelovesoutloud.org/
Learn more about Diane’s book, New Start for Single Moms Bible Study
Participant's Guide, here: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B007V8Z6W6/ref=dbs_a_def_rwt_hsch_vapi_taft_p1_i0
Thank you so much for listening to this episode of Melody and Friends! If you haven't already please take the time to leave us a rating and review on our iTunes page as it helps us get more great episodes like this to you!
Episode 20
Diane Langberg
The Rise and Fall of Mars Hill with Diane Langberg
On this episode of Melody and Friends, Melody is joined by renowned Christian Psychologist, Dr. Diane Langberg, to take a deep dive into how the church handles women experiencing trauma. Diane speaks about her work in the church and how worship leaders can find ways to work well with women who are walking through trauma.
She also shares the best ways to vet a church, pastor or councelor to ensure that if you are a woman going through trauma, you will be able to place yourself in a place of safety and healing. She describes what trauma can look like for women but also ways that churches and pastors can either raise women up and provide healing, or exacerbate it, and how to tell the difference between the two.
Who is Diane Langberg?
Dr. Diane Langberg is the leading Christian psychologist with expertise in trauma recovery. Her teaching has taken her to South America, the Caribbean, Africa, Asia, and Europe. Her books on sexual abuse remain popular with both clinicians and victims. She joined Missio Seminary as a Clinical Faculty member (Clinical Faculty members are practitioners who also lecture and train) and has a leadership role in the shaping and delivery of the Global Trauma Recovery Institute.
Dr. Langberg is Chair of the Executive Board of the American Association of Christian Counselors, serves on the board of GRACE (Godly Response to Abuse in a Christian Environment), and is Co-Chair of the Trauma Advisory Council for the American Bible Society. She is the recipient of the Distinguished Alumna for Professional Achievement from Taylor University, the American Association of Christian Counselor’s Caregiver Award, and the Philadelphia Council of Clergy’s Christian Service Award.
Things We Talk About In This Episode:
How can churches and ministry leaders provide health and safety to women who are experiencing trauma? What are the steps that we should have to assist our friends through trauma or abuse? How can victims of trauma properly vet their churches, pastors or councelors to ensure that they will receive the best help possible? What tools can be provided to educate worship leaders and the general public with proper knowledge of what trauma looks like? To learn more about Diane's journey, books, resources, and more, please visit the link here: www.dianelangberg.com
Check out Diane's Podcast here: https://www.christianitytoday.com/ct/podcasts/rise-and-fall-of-mars-hill/
Thank you so much for listening to this episode of Melody and Friends! If you haven't already please take the time to leave us a rating and review on our iTunes page as it helps us get more great episodes like this to you!
Episode 21
Melody Lovvorn
Safety in Relationships and Skydiving
On this week's episode of Melody and Friends, Melody discusses the connection between safety in relationships and skydiving. She shares the story of how she got to spend an incredible weekend with her oldest daughter, Ryland, which culminated with them skydiving together. Through this experience, Melody draws the parallels between her skydiving for the first time and the importance of establishing a sense of safety in a relationship.
Melody shares how she was able to place trust and safety in a complete stranger to perform this breathtaking leap out of a plane, and how God used that to help her illustrate how this correlates to those who have experienced betrayal or abuse in a relationship. Just as she and her instructor had to create a sense of safety and trust in order to take that jump, Melody explains what steps women can take when they have been betrayed in a relationship to begin to rebuild their own sense of safety.
Things We Talk About in this Episode:
Why is a sense of safety vital for a relationship? For men in a relationship, why is it critical to be a true "man of your word"? When rebuilding a relationship with your spouse or significant other, what is the most important factor in rebuilding that trust? Thank you so much for listening to this episode of Melody and Friends! If you haven't already please take the time to leave us a rating and review on our iTunes page as it helps us get more great episodes like this to you!
Episode 22
Sharon Hersh
Ambivalence and The Holidays with Sharon Hersh
On this episode of Melody and Friends, Melody is speaking with Author Sharon Hersh to speak about Ambivalence and The Holidays. Sharon defines what ambivalence around the holidays looks like and how ambivalence has affected her personally during the holiday season.
The Christmas season especially will often highlight a tail of two emotions, one of bright, joyous emotions as we celebrate with our family and one of somberness and grief for tragedies that have happened. She also breaks down that emotional low we can experience after the highs of celebrating the holidays has passed and what we can do to work through those feelings of ambivalence.
Sharon also shares how we can attune our hearts to the love of Christ each Christmas as we walk through those feelings of ambivalence. She explains we have to have an invitational heart that give myself permission to keep healing and admit that we need to keep healing. Who is Sharon Hersh?
Sharon is a sought-after speaker for conferences, retreats, seminars, classes, trainings, or workshops. She loves to speak any where in the world — to a group of 2 or 2,000. Sharon taught as Adjunct Faculty at Reformed Theological Seminary, Colorado Christian University, Denver Seminary, Denver University, Metropolitan State University of Denver, and The Seattle School of Theology & Psychology in both under-graduate and graduate counseling courses. Other subjects Sharon loves to speak on include the courage to abandon ourselves and belong to each other; addiction and life beyond addiction; finding the landmarks of faith, hope, and love in our stories; knowing your sexual ethic – for adolescents, adults, and parents; healing trauma, and self-compassion for caregivers.
Sharon also provides individual counseling for adolescents and adults on a weekly or bi-monthly basis or in the form of intensives (3-4 days of hard work, blood, sweat and tears that is oh, so worth it!). Intensives can include EMDR, somatic therapy, and psychodrama. Call 720-530-1225 for scheduling and pricing.
Things We Talk About In This Episode:
What is ambivalence and what does it look like around the holidays? Why do we not do well with dual feelings and what can we do about it? Why is creating an invitational heart so important for ambivalence during the holidays?
How can we allow things to change in our lives in a way that doesn't creat ambivalence around Christmas?
We encourage you to check out Sharon's books
The Last Addiction (www.barnesandnoble.com/w/last-addiction-sharon-hersh/1100618546) and
Belonging (www.christianbook.com/belonging-finding-way-back-one-another/sharon-hersh/9781631469602/pd/469606)
Our listeners can also learn more about Sharon's resources, books and much more at the link here: www.sharonhersh.com Thank you so much for listening to this episode of Melody and Friends! If you haven't already, please take the time to leave us a rating and review on our iTunes page as it helps us get more great episodes like this to you!
Episode 23
Donna Dixon
Exploring the Mission Field of Trauma with Donna Dixon
On this episode of Melody and Friends, we are diving into the mission field of Trauma with certified pastoral sex addiction specialist, Donna Dixon.
Donna shares her personal story of dealing with trauma. From dealing with a faultering relationship and deaths in the family, to receiving counseling that was not the best for her, sent her into a spiral of depression.
However through years of finding the right therapy and walking with God, she opened a new door of hope in her life. Walking forward through that open door of hope led to her decision to become certified as a life coach, followed by certification as a Certified Pastoral Sex Addiction Specialist as well as completing the highly respected Multidimensional Partner Trauma Model training through the Association of Partners of Sex Addicts Trauma Specialists.
Who is Donna Dixon?
Donna Meredith Dixon is passionate about creating safe places within the Christian community for healing from the impact of sexual brokenness. Donna lives out that passion, in part, by collaborating with others to train partners of sex addicts to effectively facilitate groups.
During her 17 years in the medical field, Donna created curriculum and training experiences that met or exceeded federal and state standards as well as health-care accrediting organizations. Donna is a certified life and relationship coach, certified pastoral sex addiction specialist (IACSAS/C-SASI), has completed the APSATS training, and has served on the board of IACSAS/C-SASI since 2014.
Things We Talk About In This Episode:
What is "post-discovery" in a marriage and what is the hardest part about going through it?
How do you approach someone who has been struggling their entire life with sexual addiction?
What is a trauma-informed approach to training couples through sexual addiction?
Thank you so much for listening to this episode of Melody and Friends! If you haven't already please take the time to leave us a rating and review on our iTunes page as it helps us get more great episodes like this to you!
Episode 24
Sandra Brown
Walking Differentiating Pathologic Partners in a Relationship from Other Forms of Abuse with Sandra Brown
On this episode of Melody and Friends, I sit down with my friend Sandra Brown to talk about pathology and more specifically dangerous, pathologic partners in relationships.
Sandra explains her history in studying pathology and why it is such an important field of study when it comes to abuse in relationships. She tells us what pathology is, how to identify the signs of pathologic partners, and what we can do to help women heal from these extremely traumatic situations. She also walks through her development of Pathological Love Relationship training for other professionals, and how she has developed survivor-based support services for women who experienced psychopathic partners.
Sandra then talks about personality disorders, from Narcissism to Anti-Social Behavior to Psychopathy, and how each of these types can cause significant damage to a woman emotionally. However, she also provides warning signs to look out for and multiple resources to begin the process of healing from these potent forms of abuse.
Who is Sandra Brown?
Sandra L. Brown, MA, has spent over 30 years working in the psychology field related to psychopathology. Her earlier years were spent developing a dual-focused treatment center for persons with personality disorders who also had trauma disorders. During this time, she also began working, in individual and group sessions, with the partners and children of those with personality disorders. She eventually established one of the country’s first prototype long-term residential treatment centers for women with Multiple Personality Disorder/Dissociative Identity Disorder. Sandra accomplished this while also providing treatment in a women’s inpatient hospital trauma program.
Things We Talk About In This Episode:
What is pathology and why can it often impact victims in a relationship so much more deeply then other forms of abuse? Why isn't pathology as well studied or understood compared to things like depression or anxiety? What methods of treatment are available for victims? What should they be looking out for in relationships to spot warning signs of this behavior? What are personality disorders? How can this affect partners in a relationship?
Resources:
Our listeners can learn more about Sandra's Training, speaking engagements, and get in contact with Sandra by visiting her website: www.sandralbrownma.com
You can also find all of her books, including How To Spot A Dangerous Man, by visiting her Amazon Page here: www.amazon.com/stores/Sandra-L.-Brown
Thank you so much for listening to this episode of Melody and Friends! If you haven't already please take the time to leave us a rating and review on our iTunes page as it helps us get more great episodes like this to you!
Episode 25
Savannah Esposito
How Forensic Psychology Intersects with Sex Addiction with Savannah Esposito
On this week's episode of Melody and Friends, I sit down with my new friend Savannah Esposito to discuss how forensic psychology intersects with sex addiction in relationships and why forensic psychology can be a powerful tool in discovering, identifying and treating sex addiction. Savannah shares her story about discovering her husband's pornography addiction and how frustrating the process of finding a trained professional to help was, especially when several licensed therapists didn't seem to think there was any problem in their relationship.
That's when Savannah developed The Modern Mr. and Mrs. to create a place where couples could learn steps to creating a healthy relationship dynamic and treat ongoing addictions to sex and pornography. I loved getting to hear what she is doing for couples young and old in this episode and believe you will too!
Who is Savannah Esposito?
Savannah is a nationally certified life, relationship, and recovery coach with a Bachelors in Forensic Psychology in CT. She is passionate about empowering couples that lack relationship skills because they didn't have the role models growing up to teach them about healthy relationships.
Savannah works to let couples know that there's no shame in lacking relationship skills and reaching out for help, especially when it comes to addictions. Between the lack of role models and toxic societal messages about relationships, it's not a shock to feel helpless when you're relationship isn't going right.
Things We Talk About In This Episode:
What is the difference between active addiction and active recovery?
Why is that important?
What is sexual stimulation addiction and why is it a better term to use when encompassing addictions to different sexual experiences? What is forensic psychology and how can it help a partner who is struggling with addiction?
Resources:
Learn more about Savannah and The Modern Mr. and Mrs. by visiting her website: www.themodernmrandmrs.com
Thank you so much for listening to this episode of Melody and Friends! If you haven't already please take the time to leave us a rating and review on our iTunes page as it helps us get more great episodes like this to you!
Contact Me!
melodylovvorn@gmail.com
Phone
(205) 910-8973
Address
130 Inverness Plaza, Suite 218
Birmingham, Alabama 35242
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